What is going on, this time, with this site?
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Posted:Jul 30, 2024 2:43 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2024 11:07 pm 20767 Views
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I changed a few things on my profile text.
Nothing nauthy, nothing disgusting, no curse word, no name calling, or orther nastyness.
All very brave....
just some adjustments, i liked to make...
( ever wondering IF, there is Any person, on here, who does know how to read & understand a text, at the same time? )
But that does not matter much, to me, anyway.....
Been on this site for a very long time, by now.... so nothing much is new, here
Expect, that now the wholy, ubermaster of alt, decided, that my profile is not good.
is denied?!
WTH!
All kind of rules are trown at me, too short?
is one,
and ofcourse all the other stuff, about nasty talk, offending people, dogs, and you name it?!
What is next!
Is maintaining this site, too low a level of activities for them?
they need other distractions?
Cant handle, keeping this site even slightly in working order??
My gosh!! Boring.......
Anyway,
Hope everything is alright with all of you, out there in the pixel world.
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12
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The motor bikers greatings?
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Posted:Jul 23, 2024 8:27 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2024 5:44 am 21754 Views
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You know?
When the weather is getting a bit more warm.
Then the motor riders getting restless and getting to be seen, on the road.
I love those times, i love especially the old bikes.
and the way they great each other, is something i really appreciate.
I like that feeling of "we" are a family.. kind of thing.
Like folks on racingbikes do too.
Something simular is going on, with bikes with ORTLIEB bags on them.
it is really very funny, they start to talk to you/ me and there is inmediately a sort of same ness,
"We know, what suffering is", in the Dutch weather, or in the mountains of France/ Belgium.
It is soo funny, i never thought about that effect of those bike bags.
That "family" feeling is nice, there is a bond.
It feels so good.
On my way to my , with the bike in the train, i had three people, all with ORTLIEB bike bags, we all got to talking with each other.
it was really nice!
The next time, this is happening, i will ask if they want to exchange mailadresses or .
I could learn a lot of the other folks, with more training... and experience...
It feels so good, to talk to, with people, who understand what i am planning to do,
go to.
They gave me advise, i already knew those things, about packing, about tools to take with you.
about money on the road...I am always willing to learn more.
There is this guy, who says, dont worry about not having enough training,
by the time you enter France, you will have your training, LOL.
Your muscles are used to be on the bike, the whole day, that is not longer any problem.
You also will have a teint, even when the sun is not really out there.
It is soo nice and reassuring to know those things... in advance.
It is good for my confidence.
I know i can do this.
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7
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It is sunny! Overhere!
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Posted:Jul 19, 2024 1:28 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2024 2:17 pm 19077 Views
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So, i am working my ass off, in my garden.
Well, not right now, ofcourse!  )
This is about asking the right/ difficult qeustions.
When in contact with a dominant or master,
he needs to be able to ask the right/ difficult questions
for me, to open up, to him.
For me, to show, he really cares, he really is "into" me.
All the way!
Nóbody, ever did that, in all those years...
NOBODY!
I dont know why, i can guess, not thát much interested in mé, as a person, anyway
I only need to be his kink dispenser, that is all he asks for.
It is, for those all about the sex! lets be honest.
BDSM and especially, the mental part of it??
They dont have a cleu, how deep that can go,
or maybe even are afraid for that depth...?
who knows?
Maybe they themselfs dont even know this?
Shallow folks, shallow ....
He is not able and or willing to invest more in the contact, then just that.
"Once in a forthnight, he comes and he goes...
For HIS satisfaction, most of the time", only
You are a side product for his attention, if he is willing to spend some time....
I have had vanilla partners/ lovers, who invested more time, attention and energy in our bond,
then
those willies on here....
Vanilla just does not dó it for me, like only kinky sex role play acting 'dominants' - only in the bedroom-,
dont dó it for me, at all.
BUT,
Hey!
The sun is shining!
Going to get dirty , in my garden, working my ass off.
Have a great day!
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21
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I am phisycal back on track, but the mind..?
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Posted:Jul 16, 2024 11:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2024 12:45 pm 18582 Views
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It has been a great holliday, with my sister.
It was great and good and terrific....
It was what my sister needed the most.
And i was just there, too, to witness.... 
and care for her wellbeing.
something like that.
It was good!
After we came back, it became a rollercoaster for me, being home a halve a day, gone with a train again, with very, very bad connections, a lot of waiting on very windy train stations, have to hear about yet an other delay.. and an other delay.
It was a train ride from hell.
Eventually, i came to the place of destination,
and did the things i wanted to do, see an exhibition, together with my .
That was nice!
It rained all day long we could not do, what we had planned to do....
sighs...
Back at the home place, back in public traffic again, back to my sister, to go with her, as emotional support...
To an other place,
and back again and today i am back at my place.
soo....
I am tired, mentally, not physically at all.
Had to digest a lot of stuff...
It was even worst then anybody could have ever imagined.
50 years of fear and mental abuse...
Plus stockholm syndrome....
Plus the mental abuse of the , too......
Such a sad story, life....
There are no winners.....
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10
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Back?
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Posted:Jul 4, 2024 12:39 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2024 2:16 pm 20919 Views
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And gone, again, in a couple days...
With my sister, this time we take a break, rent a little house, in the forest.....
Hope we gone spot a wolf!
And bats, and all other animals of the forest.
Stay cool, dry, or not,
And enjoy yourself,
See you, when i see you, again... 🦊🦇🦔🐿🐾🪶🐉🦅🦉🐞🦋🐌
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8
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Gone,
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Posted:Jun 29, 2024 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2024 5:00 pm 24081 Views
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hello there,
I just want to let you know, i am gone, for a couple of days
Behave yourselfs , enjoy yourselfs and till later.
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15
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Its allready late, so what does it matter....
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Posted:Jun 26, 2024 2:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2024 3:33 pm 22894 Views
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Today a friend invited me, to put our tents up, for try.
It is always nice to visit her.
So i agreed, and there we go!
i secreataly hope someone filmed it,
If you cant laugh at your own actions? You are a ver sorry person, in my eyes!
My god! did we made a mess of it!
First we decided to set my tent up, first.
Because it is just a small 2 persons tent.
She was working on her halve of the tent and i on my side...
It just looked like shite!!
No straight lines, no model...
It was a mess!!
We just could not figure it out!
It also was (way too hot) for her..... that is...
Finally when we took a break, and did read the manual
we found out, we did it all wrong!
By that time i was already totally done, with this tent!!
Could not make head or tail of it!!
So i just stopped putting on that tent, done!
She laughed and asked are you sure?
Oh yeah!
ready to go!
So, we took a brake, did ate some lunch and decided
to put her tent up!
Although she already was done too! LOL
So, again struggling with the poles, and the pegs....
We, sort of get her tent standing......
like a drunken sailor!!
It was soo funny, our struggle.
Later on, we discussed, what went wrong and
found out, we are of the generation that you first put up
your inner tent and then, throw the outertent over the inner tent
and put it all together, pegs, lines and all..
These modern (?) tents are the other way around,
you first put up, your outer tent and then you crawl in the outer tent
to hang our inner tent attached to the outer tent!
Totall madness!
So, i keep trying to get the hang of this miracle!
I dont know wich madman thought this to be a good way,
to put up tents!
i wanne talk to him/ her!
My tent has a realy nice inner size, really spacious
There is enough room to put my bike bags in there,
have a little outer space to cook in, when the weather is bad.
I am happy i bought this tent.
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7
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Owning,
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Posted:Jun 22, 2024 1:05 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2024 11:52 pm 20921 Views
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A car?
A house?
some valuable papers/gold?
A dog, your goldfish?
With OWNING, comes taking on, responsibility for that thing, animal, person,
Doesnt it?
I always wanted to own cats, i already had a lot of cats...
I took good care of them, gave them shelter, food, attention and went to the vet, if i thought there was something wrong.
Taking on the responsibility.
I had this conversation, with someone, who had "NEEDING" TO OWN, in his profile text....
Needing???
Hmm, i dont know....?
Needing to own, so you can boost your own failing ego?
Needing to own, so you can hide your ......?
We talked, he asked, i gave some pretty deep info....
And he just walked right all over that sensitive info?!
Huh?
So, i asked him, do you have problems, attending difficult issues?
Why do you ask, and not continue on that subject?
Is that, or should that not be one of the challenges a D or M likes to have,
in contact with a submissive PERSON?
It was, all over again, an exchange of info, like most play doms do
THey dont get into an interaction, with you?
No, they exchange info,
mine for them,
Does not build upon that info, asks more and deeper into it?!
Hell, no!
Just want facts. or use that info as facts...
Why do you ask, when you dont want to follow up, on the answer you get?
Also, talk about RED FLAGS, after about three mails or something like that, he wanted to tell me, when he sees it fit, i was to call him sir..
PARDON!
Huh?
I only knew his first name, nothing more, ohyeah, and that he had worked in some kind of metal industrie something....
vague, very vague...
I was and am, under the impression, that if a submissive feels IT, from within, she/or he makes it known, that she or he, would like to call that person D or M...
Not the other way around!
That is forcing something up on a s type, while she, or he, is, maybe not even ready to use such a title.
Again, with giving use of such a Ttile, comes trust.... and, again,
taking on responsibility....
Is there, yet enough trust among those twho people?
Do they already have build a strong bond?
Or, is it for the EGO boosting of the D type?
By owning anything, no matter what, comes taking on the responsibility for that something, someone.
and show it!
As you can inmaging, that was the last of "our" conversation.
If there is one thing, that i really get a rash from, is the feeling, that i am being pushed to accept something, i am totally NOT ready for...
So, i told him, that too..
That the mail contact, alone, did not feel safe, at all. =
end of conversation.
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7
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"our?" new government?
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Posted:Jun 19, 2024 12:09 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2024 11:54 am 21035 Views
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It is a very right wing, racist bunch of people, to my knowledge it is the first time
with such a radical right wing government.
They are breaking down what was left, of our healthsystem,
elderly folks, people with big mental problems?
They dont seem to give a shit, and just cut in their money for millions of Euros....
So sad, sooo criminal!
First we had a pretty good healthsystem, then, some morron, thought; you know what?Just let us copy the US sytem,
We, the filthy rich can effort the care, we need, anyway ,so who cares... about the pleps?
Some minister talked about depopulate..... That is a word, the nazies used,..so it is very heavely loaded with bad history.....
That kind is the kind of people, who is going to lead this country to more destruction more racists incidents, more hate...
i weep for the future of holland.... and all the foreign people living here....
It is going to be a very, very scary times for them...
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9
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"normal" family life?
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Posted:Jun 18, 2024 2:53 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2024 11:50 pm 20917 Views
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In a somewhat "normal" family life, people give each other presents, take care of each other, in any way possible.
Parents, but, also the among themselves...
In a somewhat emotional adult settings...
At least, that is what i have heard, friends told me about that.
In "our" kind of family, those things did not happen.
I have two memories about getting gifts, that was one time, with Christmas and the other time, with a birthday, i dont even know, if it was my birthday or not...
So was our family life......
So?
"Normal" has not much meaning, for me, at all...
I really would not know, what that means.....
So, now, especially, when i order something online and get that delivered at the door,
i always feel like it is my birthday.
Ever so happy and excited!
Although i perfectly know, what i have ordered, it still gives me the feeling of getting presents.
And this week, i get a lot of presents!
My tent, being one of them!
among other important camping gadgets.
All excited!!! Cant wait for the delivery truck to stop at my door
I am ever sooo happy, about this!!
It feels like, my birthday, Sinterklaas, Christmas and the last two days of the year!!
festive!!
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7
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