Above is a photo of Newstead Abbey, the ancestral home of the English Romantic poet Lord Byron, located in the countryside of Nottinghamshire.
I was very busy yesterday because I was in yet another porn film shot at Newstead Abbey - this is the fifth film in my still fledgling porn star career.
While at Newstead Abbey, I learnt that one of Lord Byron's daughters was the Countess of Lovelace, Ada Lovelace, who as a mathematician did some pioneering work on developing the computer. Being a porn star is an educational experience.
At Newstead Abbey, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting up with @superbjversion2, @Mibelayze, @OldSaltySeaman, @LovingOral1964, @OddsAgainst and @BiJT2576, a couple of whom I had not met in my porn star career.
Rose McGowan, who promised at this year's Adult Video News (AVN) awards ceremony to appear in my next porn film (see q :2487298), didn't show up at Newstead Abbey to meet us all because of pressing engagements back in America.
Naughty Notty Hotties, the local porn film company with which I'm contracted to, recruited all of us to make the Lord Byron's Boudoir porn film. The bedroom of the nineteenth century English Romantic poet, where Lord Byron entertained his many mistresses, is the most popular room for visitors to Newstead Abbey.
I played Lord Byron of course wearing just a ruffled white shirt. Per usual, @superbjversion2 was my own personal fluffer.
The Countess of Costa Blanca, Lord Byron's love interest, was suitably played by @Mibelayze. Quite reasonably, she insisted that she should be fluffed just like a male porn star would be fluffed on set. Again quite but possibly less reasonably, @Mibelayze insisted that she should have two male fluffers at her service - @OddsAgainst and @BiJT2576 soon jumped at the chance to fluff the Countess of Costa Blanca.
Percy Shelley, Lord Byron's friend and another prominent English Romantic poet, was played by @OldSaltySeaman. Initially he only agreed to perform in this porn film because Rose McGowan was supposed to be starring. But despite Rose McGowan's last minute no-show, @OldSaltySeaman, the trooper he is, decided to continue his involvement in the porn film, especially after he was told that @LovingOral1964 was to be his personal fluffer throughout the shoot.
New to the porn scene, @LovingOral1964 proved to be a very capable fluffer, so much so that @OldSalthySeaman was reluctant to take off his sou'wester and his wellington boots before being fluffed.
The adjoining room to Lord Byron's bedroom was used as the fluffing room. Though it's often said that what happens on a porn film set stays on set, I can honestly say that what happened in the fluffing room went far beyond fluffing. @Odds Against and @BiJT2576 could hardly keep up with @Mibelayze. Both I and @OldSaltySeaman had to be prised away from our special fluffing sessions provided by @superbjversion2 and @LovingOral1964, for the crucial final scene of the porn film.
Above is what happened when Lord Byron and Percy Shelley met up with the Countess of Costa Blanca in Lord Byron's boudoir. This is an artistic impression of my good friend, Percy Shelley, shagging the Countess of Costa Blanca. I was required to wear a robe de chambre, a dressing gown, while watching my friend fuck the Countess. It was a very frustrating scene for me to do!
You may remember when Talia Chetrit, who photographed me for a series of adverts for Acne Studio's luxury Musubi bags in New York (see AN X-RATED YARN ABOUT ZITS), offered to take photographs free-of-charge at my next porn film shoot. Well, it turns out she's also a talented artist as well as very talented photographer.
Talia Chetrit, though armed with her camera, turned round and said to the Naughty Notty Hotties' director of the porn film, "porn shots are so commonplace on sex sites, let me paint what's happening instead." The director had the good sense to agree with her suggestion. Above and below are two of many pieces of art she did throughout the shooting of the Lord Byron's Boudoir porn film.
Talia Chetrit regularly uses the aliases of Roissy and Joseph Denis Odevaere in her artwork! She's a great artist, so much so that she painted me half-naked after being fucked senseless by the Countess of Costa Blanca as if I was Lord Byron on my death bed in Missolonghi, Greece in 1826. As I laid on the bed half-naked, @Mibelayze whispered in my ear, "You Englishmen certainly know how to fuck, far better than Scotsmen!"
If you think I look deathly half-naked, you should have seen how @OldSaltySeaman, @OddsAgainst and @BiJT2576 looked after the porn film shoot!
Is anyone up for the next porn film?
I can honestly say porn pays. As well as this latest film, I've starred in The Ribald Tales of Robin Hood (see A HALF-NAKED ROBIN HOOD IN AN AUTUMNAL SHERWOOD FOREST PORN FILM SHOOT and A HALF-NAKED KERFUFFLE IN AN AUTUMNAL SHERWOOD FOREST), U-Boot von Wollust (see U-BOOT VON WOLLUST), Doing My Own Thing with Audrey Hepburn (see DOING MY OWN THING WITH AUDREY HEPBURN) and, my breakthrough film, La Gangbang Festiva di Sophia Loren a Roma (see LA GANGBANG FESTIVA DI SOPHIA LOREN A ROMA). Also my porn film adventures have led to two lucrative appearances in adverts for Acne Studios' Musubi leather bags (see AN X-RATED YARN ABOUT ZITS) and Moët et Chandon champagne alongside Scarlett Johansson (see DOING MY OWN THING ON THE RED CARPET).
And by the way, the paragraph above is for my reference so I can keep tabs on my Wednesday fantasies! I really hope my fantasies aren't denied by Tier 1. On that note, I received a fulsome apology from the site for its 16 denials of one of my recent blog posts.
45 comments
According to oral family history, Byron once wrote a sonnet titled "To My Faire Fluffer" dedicated to my infamous ancestress, Lady BJ of Northumberland, but it was never published.
@spunkycumfun I'll see what I can do.
Another great story you have shared with
us for HNW. You sure have a great imagination
there and you have so many wonderful blogger
friends to help you out.
I hope your enjoying a very Happy Hump Day..
I am so flattered that you consider me a high level "fluffer"! And thank you for inviting me to contribute within my humble possibilities to these high-end porn sessions About the competition in fucking me well between English and Scottish guys ... I am not sure if I said that I did? Maybe I was a bit tipsy, who knows!
Anyway, my scientific side tells me that in order to give a valuable opinion I should fuck with more English and Scottish guys so that the statistical data can be more reliable... let's get to work!
I'm always up for more porn. Bring it!
Hugs!!
....
@spunkycumfun ....
@spunkycumfun HNW
....
@spunkycumfun ....
@spunkycumfun HNW
16!! Did you break the world record? 😂
@spunkycumfun
It always seems to be the same actors doing all the denials, yet they're not removed from reviewing posts. Another empty promise made, hey?
@spunkycumfun
The inconsistencies are maddening!
Always look forward to what ever adventure you take us on. Happy HNW
I wanted to hear more about Ada Lovelace pout!
(I actually already read a fictionalized account of her life - called Enchantress of Numbers).
I was wondering yesterday what the next porn romp would be about. You did not disappoint @spunkycumfun. I got quite a laugh from this tale. You rock dude. Thanks for keeping your blog readers entertained. I fully appreciate it!!
@spunkycumfun I know right??
Great I loved post.
Ada Lovelace Never gets credit for her work. She was one of first to see role of computers beyond just calculations and mathematics.
She is also only legitimate child of Lord Byron.
I wish you all the best in your poem career.
That’s the cast we deserve in a prom shoot.
Happy HNW
@OddsAgainst fucking autocorrect hates me with a passion
Porn
@spunkycumfun only once
@spunkycumfun of course they did. 😂
Oh yeah you know me, I’m always game to be a part of your tales.
@spunkycumfun I think it's a prom porn script because otherwise, it seems like you're discussing a prom for porn people. I think...I don't know, fuck this is weird.
In my very limited experience of attending exactly one prom, they're kinda like the movies. So you're good.
That was quite a cast. And lots of bedroom scenes too.
Happy HN-C
@spunkycumfun Despite your remark, I didn't really understand that we need to sign up per se.
SURE, I'm in.
@spunkycumfun 😁
@spunkycumfun Can't have TOO many of those!!
HOT 🔥
I wondered why I was so tired yesterday … this explains it .. and the bruising to one’s nether regions that was probably caused by the sudden prising away during the extensive fluffing. However injuries aside it was totally worth it for the chance to make waves with the Countess, so admirably portrayed by the oh so talented Mibelayze .. I hope you appreciated my keeping my wellingtons and sou’wester on during the scene as a tribute to Percy’s untimely watery demise. Do you think reciting "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" at the point that the countess brought me to conclusion was too dramatic? I fear I may have overplayed the part a tad but the Countess is want to induce raptures such is her artistry in sexual matters. I think a sequel with my second wife Mary Shelly and perhaps some sex starved Frankenstein monster might have some merit.