be careful with what you say

The first time you have sex with a new person is always a nerve-wracking experience.

Even for the most confident of us, letting a new human see you in the state you were born in can conjure up all kinds of fear, never mind the worry of the act itself.

Here’s how to handle sex with a new partner and how to make it awesome.

1. Set your expectations low

Unless you have a map sketched on your body and an instruction manual of where to go, the level of pressure needed, and a duration indicator, chances are the first time will mostly be an introduction to each other’s bodies.

2. Think about the journey rather than the destination

You’ll be getting to know what they like, what they don’t, what you like.

Don’t focus too much on getting each other off, enjoy the roll around and the experience of getting to know a new person intimately.

More often than not it’s the act itself that’s more fun and memorable than the end goal. That being said…

3. Don’t fake it

Whether you want to reward him for his efforts, or it’s been quite terrible and you want it to end, please do not fake it.

If you’re going to see this person again, he’ll think he’s got the winning formula to getting you there and you’ll only have to fake it again.

Even if you won’t so him again, selfishness in bed never deserves an ego stroke.

4. Be careful what you say

Remember you might actually have to live up to what you say.

Guys, ‘I’m going to do this and this and this’ followed by the sudden inability to find her clitoris and a performance that resembles a jackhammer for three minutes is only setting yourself up for a fall.

Sex review survey illustration Outof10_Illustration_Liberty Antonia Sadler_Metro-1 Here’s what happened when I asked every man I’d ever slept with to review me / I sent every man I've ever slept with a survey to find out how good I am in bed
Here’s what happened when I asked every man I’ve had sex with to review me
5. Steady on the alcohol

Have a couple of drinks to loosen yourself up, sure, but being completely blotto doesn’t usually lead to the most pleasurable of experiences.

6. Communicate

The single best way to make sure your bits are hit in the right way.

If someone’s rubbing away like they’ve just found a magic lamp and it’s not comfortable, find a way of telling them nicely that you don’t want to be walking like you’ve had a naked fight with sandpaper tomorrow.

7. Embrace the gross bits

No matter who you have sex with in real life, there will always been unsavoury noises, smells, and fluids all over the place that you don’t see in the films.

Accept the fact that this happens, and deal with them in a way that doesn’t make your new partner feel abnormal.

8. Have fun

The most important point on the list. Get them clothes off, throw your inhibitions to the wind, and get stuck in