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sarabr0wn17 24 F
21 Articles
Score 0.0
My Father   11/16/2023

I added this to my Alt blog and got a great response so thought i would share here. It Must Be True My father once told me. sara, if we are ever in a situation where you are the voice of reason. Then, we are in a very, very bad situation. But, i love you dearly. I am to this day still trying to work out if it was praise, or not! Then some one who answered my bog added a post and i ...


0 Comments, 17 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
jtpbigthrob21 39 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Any Funny Humor   9/8/2021

Anyone has any good sex stories? =)


0 Comments, 56 Views, 45 Votes ,0.75 Score
ClimaxHer 66 M
6 Articles
Score 0.0
Daddy's little squirt   2/26/2021

The saying is true: Before you are momma's little baby, you are 's little squirt.


3 Comments, 86 Views, 55 Votes
jtpbigcck69 39 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Any good funny sex stories   10/9/2020

Anyone have some funny sex stories to share?


2 Comments, 51 Views, 37 Votes ,0.95 Score
mackjohn11 48 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
creating a better life   12/10/2018

i wont like to text much but i believe it just gonna be a matter of time


0 Comments, 43 Views, 38 Votes ,1.91 Score
bootlckboy39 51 M
14 Articles
Score 0.0
Threesoom with One Man and two Women   3/24/2017

The man says to the two women "Let s have a threesome and i want to watch". Both smile and say yes. A few days later the bedroom is locked and he hears giggling, laughter then moaning. He looks down to see a little box. He opens the box with a note " For you...", he looks in and sees a nice watch.


4 Comments, 158 Views, 76 Votes ,3.64 Score
IThinkmyway 63 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
DOM/DOM PLAY ???   7/9/2014

Is it possible for two 100% Dominants to play together? An interesting question and thought experiment devised for my amusement.

This is a paradox, as I will show that the answer is both "yes" and "no!!"

Just because something is a paradox, does not mean that it is impossible. There are paradoxes galore in both the natural and man-made world. Bearing that in mind, let's give ...


1 Comments, 83 Views, 36 Votes ,2.55 Score
subann4U 71 F
5 Articles
Score 0.0
Spanking   10/12/2013

Well we had been dating a while and my just loved Jim. When he came over he got extra attention and always a treat.

When we went to the bedroom for some fun Teddy would always crawl under the bed during out play time.

One night I am strung up on a hook over the door frame when the paddle connects to my ass. Jim liked to spank and rub, spank then rub my ass. On about the third ...


7 Comments, 271 Views, 52 Votes ,2.90 Score
JohnnyLightning 65 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
A true black belt at cunilingus.   12/27/2011

My head is between your legs. I can taste your pussy juices; you are very wet now. I run my tongue around the edges of your pussy. I caress your tummy, ass, and your thighs with my hands. I find your g-spot and apply pressure. I open your legs and place my head between your thighs. I rub your tummy some more. I then remove your panties to reveal a very wet pussy. I slowly start licking you around ...


0 Comments, 293 Views, 63 Votes ,3.43 Score
db780 65 M
5 Articles
Score 0.0
funny thing i nthe field   12/2/2008

My girl and I were once in a farmers field where there were many small bales of straw scattered around. It was late well after dark. We decided to fuck with me lying on a bale and her astride me, she said she wanted to pee so I told her to let it go, so she did with my cock in her vagina she peed. The piss went over my belly and then around my body and into the bale of straw. It was lovely, we ...


10 Comments, 476 Views, 61 Votes ,3.55 Score
musicandsex 40 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
Embarassing sex stories   10/12/2007

I have my fair share, althought the worst was once when i was in high school. I was with a girl, and we were getting a little loud with the spankings. She was moaning, and we believed that her parents were gone. Right when i was about to come her dad walked in the room to see what the noise was. He turned as white as a ghost, and i ran out of the house as fast as i could, my pants halfway on, as ...


4 Comments, 706 Views, 57 Votes ,4.18 Score
georgenlynn 73 C
1 Article
Score 0.0
The Wierdness Scale   2/14/2007

OK, in our lifestyle weirdness is the norm you might think. I would be inclined to agree, in fact we have met people who are into BDSM and think we are odd because we swing and we switch within our relationship. But my life and family have got to beat just about everything. My eldest runs a fetish club with her dom boyfriend, her sister works there as DJ and her boyfriend is ...


9 Comments, 567 Views, 44 Votes ,4.12 Score
zennflower 61 F
10 Articles
Score 0.0
Tongue in Cheek What Kind of Doms Are Out There?   12/6/2006

The "MENTOR? WHAT MENTOR? I AM A SELF TAUGHT" DOM PROFILE Astoundingly instinctual knowledgable Dom looking for kinky girls to play with. His dungeon is on wheels, he calls his cattle prod his "violent wand" and trolls for submissives at family reunions. He is into "improvisation" and has never read a book or a website long enough to do anything more than sign onto a ...


8 Comments, 455 Views, 39 Votes ,6.25 Score
lovemyass59 65 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
finding out the truth   9/12/2006

Anytime I meet someone- the first and most important thing is to be clear and honest and who we are and what we want. What I love about the NSA, casual sex relationship is the uninhibited honesty, without fear of rejection. Encouraging lovers to share fantasies- these men nearly always start with the harem or at least 2 woman fantasy. Then when I start sharing my DP, DPP, gang bang ...


3 Comments, 601 Views, 20 Votes ,2.61 Score
Bump_in_da_nite 51 M
3 Articles
Score 0.0
stuff i thought was funny   7/2/2006

don't suffer from insanity; enjoy every minute of it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.


1 Comments, 163 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
Bump_in_da_nite 51 M
3 Articles
Score 0.0
jokes   7/2/2006

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.


0 Comments, 85 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
NibblesNLix 48 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   5/11/2006

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


1 Comments, 107 Views, 10 Votes ,1.99 Score
NibblesNLix 48 M
16 Articles
Score 0.0
colour test...   5/11/2006

sky royal blue dark blue orange orange red crimson firebrick dark red green lima sea [COLOR ...


1 Comments, 87 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
tamaracktroll 60 C
4 Articles
Score 0.0
the mountain.doc   4/29/2006

The western sun sank slowly toward a ridgeline adorned with the spiny fingers of naked poplar trees. Angular shadows from the porch railing sprawled lazily across the porch, slowly pointing toward evening. The chains supporting the porch swing he sat in squeaked in rusty protest every time he moved. Evidence of a mature season was everywhere, as a light October breeze chased a dozen or so ...


0 Comments, 229 Views, 9 Votes ,4.28 Score
dynamitesneonaty 41 M
11 Articles
Score 0.0
dumb older joke   4/13/2006

A man tells his wife that he lost his job, and she'd need to get one. After some discussion, the only thing she's capable of doing is ! He decides to help her, and after getting ready, they head out on the town. The wife spots a good mark and gets out of the car while the husband drives into a closeby alley. "100 dollars a fuck big boy, " the wife states. "I've only got thirty bucks ...


0 Comments, 374 Views, 24 Votes ,5.40 Score
jackudamiona 59 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
the Emporer's Tongue   3/18/2006

Many years ago in ancient Japan, there was a warlord who wanted to be the emporer. He devised a way to defeat the other warlords without fighting. He had four beautiful daughters. He would marry them off to the first four men who passed his test. He had razor sharp metal inserted into his daughters to shredd any man's manhood who attempted to enter them. The first four warlords from ...


3 Comments, 5329 Views, 167 Votes ,1.91 Score
jackudamiona 59 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Sandpaper Sally   3/17/2006

There was this young cowboy who was out on the range for a long time and was looking for a woman to release his pent up tension. He went up to the old bartender in the small town saloon, "Is there a good house in this town?" "Sure is youngin, " He winked, "but stay away from Sandpaper Sally." Once there he found that men where lined up out the door waiting for their turn at the ...


4 Comments, 3111 Views, 143 Votes ,0.43 Score
smalldong27 40 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
condom coming off inside GF   3/13/2006

well my dick is less than average size and condoms are sometimes a size or two too big. Once I was fucking my Old girlfriend and at the end noticed my condom was gone. I didnt say anything and went home the next day she called and asked if I had left something at her place I said what do you mean> And she had found it inside of her. From then on all her dorm friends made jokes by buying me ...


1 Comments, 483 Views, 13 Votes ,2.64 Score
smalldong27 40 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
she broke up with me bc my dick was too small   3/13/2006

Hey my last gf broke up with me bc I couldnt please her with my dick. I said I would use toys bot she didnt want too. What are the limits ladies when is a dick too small


2 Comments, 332 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
heavyballs4u 78 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
da Mattress poem   2/25/2006

Oh, I luv dem Mattress ads on plasma TV He's a sleep-N-she dreams--she was free He wants an electric mattress wit'buttons-N-numbers She wants a trampoline, with him not a fumbler He snores to the roars of NASCARs everywhere She tosses her ass covered blanket up in the air When dey do bang anyway, he's not even there Her thoughts -R- with Bad-Boy of yesteryear She wants to be eaten ...


1 Comments, 68 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
heavyballs4u 78 M
20 Articles
Score 0.0
to the tune of Disco,... Makin' it and then bangin' it....   1/25/2006

<br> I <br> Oh, Who's that banging at your door? Just me, the Old Bastard looking at your ass somemore, Or, was it maybe in lingerie at the department store-- Who wants to hop in bed with U -- certainly not to snore, Oh, who's that bastard banging at your door? <br> II <br> Yes Sexy Lady, I'm disease free and plan on stayin' this way, Not tokin or ...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 10 Votes ,1.39 Score
Lady_Gatta 58 F
55 Articles
Score 0.0
How My Siggy *marked* one of My slaves   1/20/2006

One of My slaves was visiting from another country, and My was all over him( lol, no, no, not at all what Y/you might think!- My cute white bulldog Siggy just loves new people!). So one day after having his things done outside, My comes back in and sits down on My slave's bare foot. Unfortunately for My slave, My dog's ass was not as clean as O/ne would like! After sitting and being ...


0 Comments, 463 Views, 18 Votes ,4.35 Score
hothothappy 48 M
10 Articles
Score 0.0
Love Hurt   1/19/2006

Two old ladies into thier eighties were peeking into a hole in thier apartment wall; watching a young couple working up a real sweat. One of ladies says, "My how they remind me of those hot and naughty nights we used to make nookie. What was your husband like?" Oh, he was a pain in the ass!


0 Comments, 258 Views, 13 Votes ,2.14 Score
AKashj 36 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Your Humor   1/18/2006

Ever thought that you were boring? That maybe you broke up with the hot guy because you didn't have it? Everyone has some excitment, the trick is figuring out what it is! For an example: My first boyfriend ditched me after a week. Said I wasn't worth it. I read every self-help book and article I could, no difference. Then sparatically he called and we went to dinner, and I made a small ...


7 Comments, 553 Views, 45 Votes ,4.11 Score
bdsmnn 53 M
18 Articles
Score 0.0
my wife   1/8/2006

My Domme!


1 Comments, 496 Views, 18 Votes
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Why Man Got His First Blow Job   12/9/2005

"Don't eat that Eve!" Adam hollered as he saw his mate plucking the ripe fruit from the branch. <br> "Why not?" <br> "Cause God said we couldn't." <br> "So? Look how much fruit it bears. It would be a stupid waste not to eat it. Besides, none of the other trees have fruit that is so fat and plentiful and I don't really feel like walking to the next nearest tree. ...


0 Comments, 388 Views, 19 Votes ,1.81 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
Retribution-Like A...   12/1/2005

Justin struggled against the ropes. He strained his arm muscles trying to loosen the bonds. He tried to raise up on his knees. "You won't get away with this, " he threatened, "I'll go to the cops and they'll put you cunts away forever!" Four women laughing was the only reply to Justin's threat. Rita gave a gentle tug on Justin's short brown hair. "What are you gonna say?" Rita asked, ...


0 Comments, 253 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
Retribution-Like A...   12/1/2005

Justin struggled against the ropes. He strained his arm muscles trying to loosen the bonds. He tried to raise up on his knees. "You won't get away with this, " he threatened, "I'll go to the cops and they'll put you cunts away forever!" Four women laughing was the only reply to Justin's threat. Rita gave a gentle tug on Justin's short brown hair. "What are you gonna say?" Rita asked, ...


1 Comments, 248 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
baroness69 48 F
1 Article
Score 0.0
Who pissed on my beer?   11/29/2005

My mom and her boyfriend went away for the weekend, several years ago. THey went to Lincoln City, on the Oregon Coast. He bought a case of beer to take with him. <br> He had so many drinks that night that he could barely stand. Mom said that around 3:30 that morning, he went to the bathroom in his birthday suit. She said he fell three times on his way to the bathroom that was only ...


0 Comments, 301 Views, 15 Votes ,4.20 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
The sweet smell of revenge!   11/28/2005

I was barely nineteen when this happened. If you're hoping to read some juicy sex tale, you might wish to read something else. This is a tale of revenge, off-color and possibly disgusting, and humiliation. I worked as a mail boy for a large company in San Diego. There were literally hundreds of workers, many of which were women. I developed a crush on a particular lady named Jill. ...


1 Comments, 326 Views, 12 Votes ,5.80 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
May we?   11/28/2005

Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I was stationed in England. Several of us decided to tour Europe via train. We spent three nights on the French Riviera. On our last night, the four of us went to what I could only call a "clip joint." You know, where the drinks for the girls are overpriced and usually nothing stronger than cold tea. Anyway, each of us picked a girl and ...


0 Comments, 120 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
yourpapa2005 75 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
Playful "Pooch"   9/26/2005

I was with the woman I was seeing at the time. She was pretty with personality, nimble and extremely passionate. <br> We were in one of our sessions on her couch in her living room. We had been already through a number of interesting positions. At this point she was straddling me as I sat on the edge of the couch and her legs were at first wrapped around me and then stretched up ...


4 Comments, 1221 Views, 43 Votes ,5.28 Score
yourpantyboi 61 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
my first blow job   9/13/2005

I was 17 years old and out with my girfriend. She was a year older but lesss experienced than I. I was the first guy she had ever kissed. We had been dating for 5 months. I took her to my father's business. It was around midnight, i was aroused and she was looking hot. She was from Vietnam and had beautiful long black hair, a nice complexion and pretty eyes. Oh, a nice body too. We were ...


0 Comments, 297 Views, 14 Votes ,2.50 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
Old Harold   9/7/2005

There this guy Harold who's like 97 years old and lives in a nursing home. Anyway every evening after dinner Harold would go out to a secluded part of the garden and just sit on the glider thinking about all of his accomplishments and his long life. <br> One evening Ethel, an 87 year old, strolled by and saw Harold. She asked what he was doing and they started to talk. Well ...


1 Comments, 366 Views, 14 Votes ,3.14 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Affair?   8/15/2005

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they went off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the longest and thickest dick he had ever seen. <br> "I'm sorry, Mr Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a ...


0 Comments, 408 Views, 18 Votes ,5.31 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
Try never to get too excited   8/4/2005

Diane was only the second woman I had ever had sex with. I was 18 and she was 33. I won't bore you with the details of our meeting, but I'll get right to the act. Diane was the first woman I ever performed orally on. I guess I tried very hard and I slobbered a great deal. I remember having an erection that hurt. I continued to lick and drool on her vagina. Eventually, she reached ...


0 Comments, 328 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
One word or two   5/23/2005

An elderly couple had been seeing each other for quite a while. So they figured marriage was the next logical step. <br> One evening they went out to dinner for a heart to heart talk. They discussed everything from finances, living arrangments to snoring. Finally the gentleman broached the subject of intamacy. <br> He askes how the lady felt about sex. She replied, "well ...


1 Comments, 391 Views, 20 Votes ,6.06 Score
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
The Tattoo   5/21/2005

Ben came home late that night. His wife Linda asked "where the hell have you been?". I got a tattoo he said proudly. A tattoo she said angrily, "What kind of tattoo?". I got a tattoo of a hundred dollar bill on my dick. "Why would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick" she asked. "Well one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, sometimes I like to play with my ...


2 Comments, 403 Views, 21 Votes ,4.12 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,BAR-MAID'S,GIVING.MY.HUSBAND.TOO.MUCH.SERVICE!""   4/16/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]Barmaid.too.coozy! Carmen who Darby had called while riding SANTA'S pony, sat beside SANTA and pretend to be 14 Darby on Tiffany's livingroom Love-Seat settee and SANTA was consoling her. Carmen told him her problem with her husband's club bar-maid. "My husband belongs to a private club where wives are welcome. People often greet one-another by kissing hello, goodbye ...


0 Comments, 219 Views, 6 Votes
clitikler 76 M
15 Articles
Score 0.0
A Day At The Races   4/15/2005

This guy is just sitting there quitely reading his newspaper when his wife walks up and smacks him on the head with a magazine. <br> "Ouch" he says. "What was that for?" <br> "That was for the piece of paper I found in your pants with the name Laura Lou written on it" she replied. <br> "Remember a couple of weeks ago I went to the track? That was the name of one of ...


0 Comments, 332 Views, 17 Votes ,5.53 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA, MY DR. DIDN'T SWALLOW MY CUM!"   2/26/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]CHICAGO;DrsuesDrfrCum Dr.Richard O.Phillips says his former lover a Dr.Sharon Irons deceived him by not swallowing his semen during an oral sex session and using said semen to get herself (pg) pregnant by artificial insemination. Dr.Phillips accuses Dr.Irons of a "calculated, profound, personal betrayal" She says they had the baby through normal sexual intercourse. The ...


0 Comments, 262 Views, 14 Votes ,1.70 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,ARE.OUR.M.Ps.IN.IRAQ.MISBEHAVING?"   2/7/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]IRAQ;M.P.Mud Wrestler Demoted: A female member of a Ntl-Guard.unit was demoted for indecent exposure after a pre-Valentine's Day mud wrestling party at the Army run Camp Bucca detention center in Iraq. The incident involved the Ashville, NC-105th, Military Police Battalion, said the Baccu Camp spokesman, Lt.Col.Barry Johnson, he would not ...


0 Comments, 154 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANTA;RETIREMENT a 'S VIEW:   2/3/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]How'd.Spend3.Holiday? SECRETSANTA read the pretty, carrot-topped subTeacher's report as he introduced Tonya Gorgon, 25, with a delicious 34D bust, and carmel nipples, that matched her satiny skin, he had met her on one of those kinky B&B/S&M.com Websistes profiled as a submissive;introduced her to a closed sesssion of play scene fantasy B&B accompanied with his chief ...


1 Comments, 179 Views, 8 Votes
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANATA*^CRIMES*AGAINST*NATURE^*   1/25/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]*WEIRD*TRUE*TALES*: DURAHAM, NCn Dec.gang member RobertD.Jphnson, was sentenced to 15 years for shooting off the genitals of a fellow Blood(negroe) who was wws trying to leave the group. The jury rejected an even harsher penalty for "maliicious castration" settling.on"non-maliciouscastratioin because Johnson actually shot the man in the leg, but that the bullet ...


1 Comments, 167 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
KAUPHY KUP(Santa"sCOMIC.STRIP)   1/22/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]A MORNING STARTER: SANTA OVER HEARD IN TIMES PAST SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON: "I say, Holmes the toilet is dripping water onto the bathroom floor" "Indeed, " said Holmes, getting up and heading for the kitchen. "Are you sure?""Yes, it'sleaking definitely leaking." "Is it now?"ask ed Holmes, grabbing some food ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 5 Votes ,0.86 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
ANOTHER.KAUPH.KUP(COMIC.STRIP):   1/22/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]Graveside.gift&arrest SecretSantaOver"KauphyKup"comicstripFor two great morning starters: [BALTIMORE]For the 56th year, an unkown man stole into a locked graveyard early on Edgar Allen Poe's birthday and placed three roses and a half-empty bottle of cognac on the writer's grave. To.this.day.no.one.knowstheident-ity of the so-called Poe Toaster ...


0 Comments, 76 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,WHAT.WILL.I.BE.WHEN.I'M.A SENIOR?" .   1/22/2005

SANTA[DEADLINE]WILM.N.C.BE.A.SENIOR: SECRETSANTA, Answers his GrandChilds Question "What will I be when I become a Senior Citizen? What will it be like SANTA?" "I'm the life of the party even if it lasts past 10pm, and I'm very good at opening Tyenol caps with a hammer, yes I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going, _n_I'm awake many hours ...


0 Comments, 101 Views, 4 Votes ,0.14 Score
   2005-01-20

'Peachy' had come to visit me in Portland, OR from the coastal town where she lived. When I first met her, her hubby had her sleeping "in the doghouse" in their living room! Sexually, she was insatiable with him. He'd go work, and she'd call me and I'd coach her on field expedient toys to use in our phone sex escapades. Once, while looking for something new to try, she opened and looked inside her hubby's tool box, where she found a large handled screwdriver for which, she soon developed a great fondness! From that point on, the Ole Craftsman screwdriver became 'de rigueur' in our Long Distance trysts. <br> <br> One that Saturday, when she and a friend of hers came to Portland for a concert. 'Peachy' was going to be dropped off at my place after the concert, while her friend had plans to attend an 'all-night' rave party. Now, I'd had some wine earlier, and dozed off when she didn't arrive on time. When she finally did arrive, I was sleeping deeply, as she woke my neighbors getting me to wake up. <br> <br> As soon as I greeted and let her in, I was immediately grateful that I'd drank the wine earlier, as I could hardly withstand her body odor emanating from her, due to all the drinking and sweating, from dancing during the entire length of the concert! Now, I had to help her into my bed with a modicum of grace and gratitude, and I said to her, 'I may have some toys similar to your favorite Craftsman tools, in my own toolbox!' She smiled then nodded, as I went to find them, and some lube. <br> <br> Back at 'Ground Zero' alongside 'Peachy, ' I generously applied the lube, threw in a little fondling, then efficiently and smoothly inserted the Standard 1/2" Craftsman screwdriver, handle end first, into the excretory opening of her alimentary canal. Then I lubed myself, and inserted the Phillips 1/2" Craftsman screwdriver handle into my own anus. We had both, somehow excited ourselves by now, and rather quickly, began fucking frenziedly with heedless abandon! <br> <br> Between the sensory stimulation of the actual Craftsman handles' penetration in our anuses, and the auditory stimulation of 'business' ends of the screwdrivers, sounding like one of the most famous sword duels in one of the greatest Swashbuckler movies of all time, "Captain Blood" circa 1935, with Basil Rathbone and Errol Flynn (who was an unknown Australian replacement actor until this film). On top of, just the plain edginess of these Ben Wa balls substitutions, caused us to quickly come wildly, and just as quick, fall into a tranquil slumber, both impaled, with the Craftsman 1/2" screwdriver handles, locked firmly in place! <br> <br> But there's a downside to this tale and it's that, to this day, keeping in mind, this happened about five years ago, I have not been able to remove the permeated, tainted, synesthetic redolence from the solid plastic handles of the two cutlasses we wielded onto battle that one night! SEAR's Craftsman Tools 100% Guaranteed Exchange Warranty notwithstanding!


Comments, Views, Votes
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANTA;[WE DON'T NEEED NO BADGES]   1/16/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]JOLIET, ILL.AM.Robbery:"THSHADOW"SecretSanta's;Alter-Ego, in the"60"s on cold, early, Marchmorn- ing.on.his.wayto.his.then.job, suudd- enly remembers that his cover wife asked him to stop at Joliet's.Super- mrt, and pick up adozen eggs , and a wheat bread on his way to work. He pulled into his usual handicap parking spot at "Honiotes-SuperMart" .in front of the store. ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA-DO.YOU.BELIEVE.IN-FAIRIES?"   1/10/2005

SANTA{DATELIN]FAIRIESnon-Homo_sexual SECRETSANTA has always Been interested in the study oFthe weird, and supernatural, such was the case of Dragons.Krampus, and Fairies. Be it Known that the fairy family includes.brownies, elves, gnomes, gob- lins, fairies, leprechauns, nixies, pix-ies, poltergeists, spirites, trolls and pookahs(like HARVEY.the.7ft.Rabbii) A fairy, by ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
"SANTA,BUY.US.A.GROSS,"TROJANSUPRAS"andWILLYA.KILL.THATLOUD.OVER.THE.COUNTER.TV"   1/5/2005

SANTA[DATELINE]MANCHESTER, IA: Recently SANTA was working on his column, suddenly his "DICOM-3"[LocalHotList] light flash- -ed red. There was Trouble in River- City}like the movie sang goes. SANTA wass faced with not one but two.dilemmas. On.the.Internet.he Was invited.to.a"ThreeHourLate-HappyHour Party by.teeny-boppers.who.called theselves"Fabulous-59-Panthers", a ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 4 Votes ,0.53 Score
Rivieraparadise 59 M
6 Articles
Score 0.0
Life`s little instructions for positivity!   1/4/2005

Compliment three people everyday*Over-tip breakfast waitress*Watch a sunrise at least once a year*Once in your life own a convertible*Sing in the shower*Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated*Never refuse homemade brownies*Strive for excellence, not perfection*Plant a tree on your birthday*Learn three clean jokes*Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full*Never waste an ...


0 Comments, 123 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
JoePerf 51 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
S&M   1/4/2005

Probably the oldest one in the book <br> The Masochist says to the Sadist: "Please hurt me!" <br> The Sadist smile and says: "No!"


0 Comments, 372 Views, 19 Votes ,3.26 Score
ANOTHERSANTA 94 M
93 Articles
Score 0.0
SANT;WOERST DRINKING BUDDY(BlackBear)   1/4/2005

SANRA{DATELINE]NEAR-CONCRETE, WASH: While making his rounds Xmas.Eve SeCRETSANTA.discovered.a.black.bear passed out on the lawn of the Bakers Lake Resoert near Concrete, Wash. surronded by at least 36 empty cans of (Local)Ranier Beer and one lone empty can of Busch Lite. SANTA notified the WildLife Forest Rangers Sgt.B.Heinrick investigated and fooundthat the inebriated bear, had ...


0 Comments, 133 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Rejected   12/10/2004

Things ive herd women say when asking them on a date. and yes they really said these things. <br> No, <br> Never, <br> Id rather be singel for the rest of my life, <br> uh uh uh uh yea right, <br> who the fuck are you, <br> youre still a virgin arnt you, <br> depends on how much money you make, <br> sorry Im needing ...


3 Comments, 327 Views, 22 Votes ,2.41 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
Things ive herd during sex.   12/10/2004

This is a collection ive herd during sex. and no its not all about me. some is about past roommates. these are from the bedroom of my x-roommate <br> WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? <br> Is it in yet. <br> Stop fingering me and fuck me. <br> (silence, ) he moans, said that was good she said Did something happen. <br> Your fucking kidding me ...


4 Comments, 506 Views, 40 Votes ,2.84 Score
enchanteddreams0 46 C
13 Articles
Score 0.0
your wife mabe cheeting on you when   12/10/2004

Your wife maybe cheeting on you when <br> 1. You put on a pair of underware that doesnt fit you. <br> 2. you wife has a freshly fucked face and she clames she was masterbaiting and waiting for you. <br> 3 you call your house while you are at work and noone answers, she said she went to the store, but there are no shopping bags. <br> 4. there are socks ...


2 Comments, 472 Views, 36 Votes ,2.20 Score
studentbdsm101 70 M
394 Articles
Score 0.0
You just don't understand.   12/7/2004

This is a little story from my youth. It might have been a very short relationship, but I think you'll see the humor. I was 18 and stationed at Clark Air Base in the Philippines. On my second night in country, a guy, who had been there for a year, decided to take me out to see the town. We went out the Clarkview gate and started hitting the bars. This was during the rainy season, so ...


0 Comments, 250 Views, 29 Votes ,5.65 Score
Lady_Gatta 58 F
55 Articles
Score 0.0
Chess and other Games   11/23/2004

Chess Game - Part One She had always enjoyed playing chess, probably from the very first time when she'd been five years old. She also always knew how amazing it was for others to see a small winning game after game in the resort, where she was even physically unable to remove the huge chess pieces and other were only happy to help her with that task. Then, when she became older, ...


2 Comments, 333 Views, 38 Votes ,2.91 Score
DwnSouthMaster22 41 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
10 Reasons why men like to masturbate.   11/19/2004

10. It takes less work than having sex. 9.Our wallet doesn't have to suffer goin on dates. 8.We don't have to snuggle afterwards. 7.It may be our hand but at least we don't have to put up with our ex. 6.Its the best birth control method we know of. 5.Its something to do when we're bored. 4.We like to test the "you'll put your eye out doing that!" saying. 3.It ...


0 Comments, 193 Views, 29 Votes ,5.55 Score
DwnSouthMaster22 41 M
2 Articles
Score 0.0
10 Things you don't want to hear during sex.   11/19/2004

10."Is it in?" 9.Your brothers name. 8.A fart and "hee hee, sorry bout that". 7."I wonder whats on T.V.?" 6.Your sisters name. 5."Damn! Your better than i thought you'd be". 4."Your dads name. 3."Awww its so cute". 2.'Cough, Cough' "Ugh, sorry hairball". 1."Ohhhh George W.".


0 Comments, 246 Views, 30 Votes ,3.14 Score
LEARN69 58 M
13 Articles
Score 0.0
The three meanings of SEX.   11/14/2004

To understand the meaning of sex, first know that it has three meanings rather than one. It is when these three meanings joint to gather, the ultimate feeling of sex takes place. <br> It is “S”afety. As the question is what enjoyment you would feel without being confident of your safety? <br> And “E”njoyment. As a main purpose of your act. This what will make ...


0 Comments, 195 Views, 18 Votes ,3.81 Score
screemmachine 64 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
What you READ is not always what you GET !!!!!!   6/23/2004

I have been a standard member at ALT.COM for about four months. In that time period I have read and responded to well over 100 profiles from women. These were women of various ages (ranging from 21 to 75)different nationalities, all with one thing in command. (Seeking male companionship for various different reasons). From these profile I have made a AMAZING and HUMOROUS discovery and ...


4 Comments, 441 Views, 161 Votes ,5.78 Score
MasterSeverin 74 M
1 Article
Score 0.0
EVENTIDE - A Poem Of Love   3/16/2004

EVENTIDE..... <br> Twilight reached down, outstretched fingers scratching the back of the day now slowly descending. <br> She caressed with lips of darkest night, gentle kiss of sleep, fragrant touch of evening, as the sun passes downward, beneath ragged coverlets of cloud. <br> Twilight grew older, dimmed then darkened, as ...


0 Comments, 118 Views, 59 Votes ,4.78 Score
Ms.FaerieWings 62 F
3 Articles
Score 0.0
Once Upon a Time-a D/s faerie tale   1/25/2004

Once upon a time, there was a slave who lives happily with her Master, being diliegnt of His care and service always wanting to please Him to the best of her abilities. One day while T/they chatted online with F/friends, T/they were told to be a *real slave* she would have to be naked an chained 24/7, hearing this, she looked up at her Master, eyes filling with tears, feeling sad that ...


0 Comments, 152 Views, 188 Votes ,7.62 Score