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Sandpaper Sally 10/19/2023
There was this young cowboy who was out on the range for a
long time and was looking for a woman to release his pent
up tension.
He went up to the old bartender in the small town saloon,
"Is there a good house in this town?"
"Sure is youngin, " He winked, "but stay
away from Sandpaper Sally."
Once there he found that men where lined up out the door waiting
for their turn at the ...
4 Comments,
3110 Views,
142 Votes
,0.46 Score
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Daddy's little squirt 4/18/2023
The saying is true: Before you are momma's little baby,
you are 's little squirt.
5 Comments,
76 Views,
45 Votes
,0.10 Score
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funny thing i nthe field 8/11/2022
My girl and I were once in a farmers field where there were
many small bales of straw scattered around. It was late
well after dark. We decided to fuck with me lying on a bale
and her astride me, she said she wanted to pee so I told her
to let it go, so she did with my cock in her vagina she peed.
The piss went over my belly and then around my body and into
the bale of straw. It was lovely, we ...
10 Comments,
473 Views,
58 Votes
,3.75 Score
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Any Funny Humor 12/30/2021
Anyone has any good sex stories? =)
1 Comments,
48 Views,
37 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Things ive herd during sex. 11/7/2021
This is a collection ive herd during sex. and no its not all
about me. some is about past roommates.
these are from the bedroom of my x-roommate
<br>
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
<br>
Is it in yet.
<br>
Stop fingering me and fuck me.
<br>
(silence, ) he moans, said that was good she said Did something
happen.
<br>
Your fucking kidding me
...
4 Comments,
506 Views,
40 Votes
,2.84 Score
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to the tune of Disco,... Makin' it and then bangin' it.... 11/7/2021
<br>
I
<br>
Oh, Who's that banging at your door?
Just me, the Old Bastard looking at your ass somemore,
Or, was it maybe in lingerie at the department store--
Who wants to hop in bed with U -- certainly not to snore,
Oh, who's that bastard banging at your door?
<br>
II
<br>
Yes Sexy Lady, I'm disease free and plan on stayin'
this way,
Not tokin or ...
1 Comments,
112 Views,
10 Votes
,1.39 Score
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Your Humor 11/7/2021
Ever thought that you were boring? That maybe you broke
up with the hot guy because you didn't have it? Everyone
has some excitment, the trick is figuring out what it is!
For an example:
My first boyfriend ditched me after a week. Said I wasn't
worth it. I read every self-help book and article I could,
no difference. Then sparatically he called and we went
to dinner, and I made a small ...
7 Comments,
553 Views,
45 Votes
,4.11 Score
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The Wierdness Scale 11/7/2021
OK, in our lifestyle weirdness is the norm you might think.
I would be inclined to agree, in fact we have met people who
are into BDSM and think we are odd because we swing and we
switch within our relationship. But my life and family
have got to beat just about everything.
My eldest runs a fetish club with her dom boyfriend,
her sister works there as DJ and her boyfriend is ...
9 Comments,
563 Views,
41 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Tongue in Cheek What Kind of Doms Are Out There? 11/7/2021
The "MENTOR? WHAT MENTOR? I AM A SELF TAUGHT"
DOM PROFILE Astoundingly instinctual knowledgable Dom
looking for kinky girls to play with. His dungeon is on wheels,
he calls his cattle prod his "violent wand"
and trolls for submissives at family reunions. He is into
"improvisation" and has never read a book or
a website long enough to do anything more than sign onto
a ...
8 Comments,
455 Views,
39 Votes
,6.25 Score
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Spanking 6/30/2021
Well we had been dating a while and my just loved Jim.
When he came over he got extra attention and always a treat.
When we went to the bedroom for some fun Teddy would always
crawl under the bed during out play time.
One night I am strung up on a hook over the door frame when
the paddle connects to my ass. Jim liked to spank and rub,
spank then rub my ass. On about the third ...
7 Comments,
264 Views,
47 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Any good funny sex stories 1/15/2021
Anyone have some funny sex stories to share?
2 Comments,
44 Views,
30 Votes
,1.18 Score
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"SANTA,WHAT.WILL.I.BE.WHEN.I'M.A SENIOR?" . 10/25/2020
SANTA[DEADLINE]WILM.N.C.BE.A.SENIOR: SECRETSANTA, Answers
his GrandChilds Question "What will I be when I become
a Senior Citizen? What will it be like SANTA?" "I'm
the life of the party even if it lasts past 10pm, and I'm
very good at opening Tyenol caps with a hammer, yes
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to
where I'm going, _n_I'm awake many hours ...
0 Comments,
101 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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Who pissed on my beer? 10/25/2020
My mom and her boyfriend went away for the weekend, several
years ago. THey went to Lincoln City, on the Oregon Coast.
He bought a case of beer to take with him.
<br>
He had so many drinks that night that he could barely stand.
Mom said that around 3:30 that morning, he went to the bathroom
in his birthday suit. She said he fell three times on his
way to the bathroom that was only ...
0 Comments,
301 Views,
15 Votes
,4.20 Score
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Threesoom with One Man and two Women 6/18/2019
The man says to the two women "Let s have a threesome
and i want to watch". Both smile and say yes. A few days
later the bedroom is locked and he hears giggling, laughter
then moaning. He looks down to see a little box. He opens
the box with a note " For you...", he looks in
and sees a nice watch.
4 Comments,
153 Views,
71 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Rejected 5/23/2019
Things ive herd women say when asking them on a date. and
yes they really said these things.
<br>
No,
<br>
Never,
<br>
Id rather be singel for the rest of my life,
<br>
uh uh uh uh yea right,
<br>
who the fuck are you,
<br>
youre still a virgin arnt you,
<br>
depends on how much money you make,
<br>
sorry Im needing ...
3 Comments,
327 Views,
22 Votes
,2.41 Score
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Embarassing sex stories 1/7/2019
I have my fair share, althought the worst was once when i
was in high school. I was with a girl, and we were getting
a little loud with the spankings. She was moaning, and we
believed that her parents were gone. Right when i was about
to come her dad walked in the room to see what the noise was.
He turned as white as a ghost, and i ran out of the house as
fast as i could, my pants halfway on, as ...
4 Comments,
701 Views,
53 Votes
,4.31 Score
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The Tattoo 1/2/2019
Ben came home late that night.
His wife Linda asked "where the hell have you been?".
I got a tattoo he said proudly. A tattoo she said angrily,
"What kind of tattoo?". I got a tattoo of a hundred
dollar bill on my dick.
"Why would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill
tattooed on his dick" she asked.
"Well one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, sometimes
I like to play with my ...
2 Comments,
403 Views,
21 Votes
,4.12 Score
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your wife mabe cheeting on you when 11/23/2018
Your wife maybe cheeting on you when
<br>
1. You put on a pair of underware that doesnt fit you.
<br>
2. you wife has a freshly fucked face and she clames she was
masterbaiting and waiting for you.
<br>
3 you call your house while you are at work and noone answers,
she said she went to the store, but there are no shopping
bags.
<br>
4. there are socks ...
2 Comments,
472 Views,
36 Votes
,2.20 Score
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da Mattress poem 11/21/2018
Oh, I luv dem Mattress ads on plasma TV
He's a sleep-N-she dreams--she was free
He wants an electric mattress wit'buttons-N-numbers
She wants a trampoline, with him not a fumbler
He snores to the roars of NASCARs everywhere
She tosses her ass covered blanket up in the air
When dey do bang anyway, he's not even there
Her thoughts -R- with Bad-Boy of yesteryear
She wants to be eaten ...
1 Comments,
68 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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colour test... 11/21/2018
sky
royal
blue
dark blue
orange
orange red
crimson
firebrick
dark red
green
lima
sea
[COLOR ...
1 Comments,
87 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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colour test... 11/4/2018
sky
royal
blue
dark blue
orange
orange red
crimson
firebrick
dark red
green
lima
sea
[COLOR ...
1 Comments,
106 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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A true black belt at cunilingus. 1/4/2017
My head is between your legs. I can taste your pussy juices;
you are very wet now. I run my tongue around the edges of your
pussy. I caress your tummy, ass, and your thighs with my
hands. I find your g-spot and apply pressure. I open your
legs and place my head between your thighs. I rub your tummy
some more. I then remove your panties to reveal a very wet
pussy. I slowly start licking you around ...
0 Comments,
290 Views,
60 Votes
,3.44 Score
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DOM/DOM PLAY ??? 10/10/2015
Is it possible for two 100% Dominants to play together?
An interesting question and thought experiment devised
for my amusement.
This is a paradox, as I will show that the answer is both "yes"
and "no!!"
Just because something is a paradox, does not mean that
it is impossible. There are paradoxes galore in both the
natural and man-made world. Bearing that in mind, let's
give ...
1 Comments,
78 Views,
32 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Old Harold 3/5/2013
There this guy Harold who's like 97 years old and lives
in a nursing home. Anyway every evening after dinner Harold
would go out to a secluded part of the garden and just sit
on the glider thinking about all of his accomplishments
and his long life.
<br>
One evening Ethel, an 87 year old, strolled by and saw Harold.
She asked what he was doing and they started to talk. Well ...
1 Comments,
366 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Why Man Got His First Blow Job 3/2/2013
"Don't eat that Eve!" Adam hollered as
he saw his mate plucking the ripe fruit from the branch.
<br>
"Why not?"
<br>
"Cause God said we couldn't."
<br>
"So? Look how much fruit it bears. It would be a stupid
waste not to eat it. Besides, none of the other trees have
fruit that is so fat and plentiful and I don't really
feel like walking to the next nearest tree. ...
0 Comments,
388 Views,
19 Votes
,1.81 Score
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You just don't understand. 2/15/2009
This is a little story from my youth. It might have been a
very short relationship, but I think you'll see the
humor. I was 18 and stationed at Clark Air Base in the Philippines.
On my second night in country, a guy, who had been there for
a year, decided to take me out to see the town. We went out
the Clarkview gate and started hitting the bars. This was
during the rainy season, so ...
0 Comments,
250 Views,
29 Votes
,5.65 Score
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she broke up with me bc my dick was too small 7/20/2008
Hey my last gf broke up with me bc I couldnt please her with
my dick. I said I would use toys bot she didnt want too. What
are the limits ladies when is a dick too small
2 Comments,
331 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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the Emporer's Tongue 11/3/2007
Many years ago in ancient Japan, there was a warlord who
wanted to be the emporer. He devised a way to defeat the other
warlords without fighting. He had four beautiful daughters.
He would marry them off to the first four men who passed his
test.
He had razor sharp metal inserted into his daughters to
shredd any man's manhood who attempted to enter them.
The first four warlords from ...
3 Comments,
5328 Views,
166 Votes
,1.95 Score
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How My Siggy *marked* one of My slaves 2/14/2007
One of My slaves was visiting from another country, and
My was all over him( lol, no, no, not at all what Y/you
might think!- My cute white bulldog Siggy just loves new
people!). So one day after having his things done outside,
My comes back in and sits down on My slave's bare
foot. Unfortunately for My slave, My dog's ass was
not as clean as O/ne would like! After sitting and being ...
0 Comments,
463 Views,
18 Votes
,4.35 Score
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Playful "Pooch" 2/7/2007
I was with the woman I was seeing at the time. She was pretty
with personality, nimble and extremely passionate.
<br>
We were in one of our sessions on her couch in her living room.
We had been already through a number of interesting positions.
At this point she was straddling me as I sat on the edge of
the couch and her legs were at first wrapped around me and
then stretched up ...
4 Comments,
1221 Views,
43 Votes
,5.28 Score
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